Confession #1
Today I am sad. I have never made it a secret that I really wanted another baby. I even said when I was pregnant with Harrison that regardless of that child's gender, I wanted another one. And we tried. For almost a year. But I am getting old and we are building a house. Frankly, we cannot afford both - a new house and a new baby. And I don't have another 3 years to try. So today I am washing up some of the maternity clothes so that I can take them to a consignment store. It really seems to signify the end of that dream of having more babies.
Confession #2
My children are driving me crazy. And, yes, I do realize the irony in these first 2 confessions. They can play really well together for about 30 minutes (if I am lucky), and then something inevitably goes wrong. Harrison hurts Jillian. Jillian doesn't do exactly what Harrison wants. And it goes from pleasant to not pleasant, quickly. Harrison - who has spent the last 2 1/2 weeks basically at home all the time trying to get potty trained - seems to have fallen off the wagon. Sunday afternoon he had a terrible time with it. He did better on Monday but he was not great yesterday and today has been awful. Remember that I don't drink (not ever) but I may be driven to it - by a 9 year old and a 2 year old. And for the first time in 15 years, I think I might be ready for school to start. These are thoughts I have never had.
Confession #3
Building this house is scaring me to death. Everything from making the right decorative decisions to whether we can afford it or not, is driving me a little mad. Little things like interest rates going up (what the heck?) and my school district looking to raise the millage, are not helping. I am sure it will be fine, but I am guessing my nerves may never be again.
2 comments:
I am with you on the babies :(
Kris and I met later in life, so married at 29, had Jacob at 31, Levi at 34.
Just before Levi turned 2, we sold our carseat travel system, consigned tons of baby gear, clothes, you name it.
We just 'knew' we were too old to start over with another. I know couples have babies in their 40s, but I didn't want to be one.
Oh, and neither of our vehicles could hold 3 car/booster seats, so that pretty much made our decision for us because we were NOT going to have a car payment.
Yes, it still makes me sad. I always tell Kris I wish we had met 10 years before we did, oh well.
There are so many things I want to do as a family when the boys get older, so if we keep having kiddos and go back to square one, we'll never do them! ha!
I love my boys, blessed to have them. But I had great pregnancies and enjoyed every second, and there's nothing like kissing a sweet newborns little head off!!
Maybe that's why parents can't wait for grandkids! HA! That'll be me someday :)
Oh, and do I win longest comment ever?
I can certainly relate! I had my children later too. My husband will be 42. He says we are done. I know this. It just is a little sad sometimes. Yet I can relate to confession #2. A lot. I am ready for school to start and good routines again! LOL. Glad you had the guts to say what I have been feeling!
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