May I Have Her Brokeness

This evening Jillian brought me a piece of paper that asked if a certain word was a bad word or if it was even a word. It was, in fact, a word we shouldn't be saying. I told her it was a bad word and what it meant. And I reminded her that we shouldn't say it because it was not nice. I asked where she had heard it and she told me. Then she got a look on her face. I asked if the other girl had called her that word. She said no but she still looked upset. When I asked again what was wrong, she started to cry. She told me she had used the word twice because she didn't even think it was a word. And she cried and cried and cried. She was so devastated that she had done something wrong. I couldn't get her convinced that she had done the right thing by asking about the word and now she could make the right choice by not using a word anymore. I didn't get on to her or anything. I tried to encourage her and point out the good, but she was just so distraught.

I just got to thinking...how is that I don't have that same reaction when I mess up? When I sin, I don't cry and cry and cry. Not typically anyway. She was so broken by her mistake, by the "badness" of what she had done. When do we learn to make excuses or try to make our wrongs right? Why do we forget to be ashamed of our sinful behavior? How do we get there? I don't have the answers but I am definitely asking myself those questions.