For reasons I can't really explain, today I keep thinking of things I am not good at. Some of these things I am wretchedly bad at. So here is a little insight into me...
1. I am not good at not having a plan. I want to know where we are going, when we will get there, how long we are going to stay there, and what is going to happen next. This includes weekend plans and life plans. This week has given me a serious look at just how bad I am when I don't know what is next.
2. Mercy/Compassion. I have a tendency - albeit wrong - to believe that everyone should react to a situation the same way I do. If I can have a bad day and put on a smile, why can't you? Like I said, I didn't say I was right. This particular bad trait of mine comes through in a variety of ways: physical pain (not serious stuff, just everyday run-of-the-mill stuff), coping mechanisms, and moods. This issue leads me immediately to the next...
3. Patience. I can be extraordinary patient (and am several times a day as I deal with some of the students), but it is not one of my cardinal personality traits. I like things done on my timetable and with a pleasant demeanor. I get impatient when people don't get on board with that. Again - remember this is a list of my problems, not everyone else's.
4. Being questioned. Not like "How are you?" questions. But questions like "Why did you do this instead of this," or "Why do you have to do both of those things?" I think this goes back to patience problem. I tend to feel like you should just let me do my thing.
I think several of these not great traits have reared their heads today, but I have managed to keep them under control (self-control could be one of the traits I am pretty good at - unless I am not). Throughout the day, God has been showing me how my interactions are affected by my attitude. And so much of my attitude is based on these things that I am really not good at. Does anyone else see a vicious cycle?
2 comments:
I feel your pain. I feel like my vicious cycle never stops. But, I also feel like I've improved in many of my "areas" during our times of trials. These next days or weeks or months for you, my friend, will be an opportunity for God to give you peace about the fact that he has made plans, even if you can't. There's comfort in that promise!
I'm with you- need a plan, don't want to wait. I've always kind of considered those traits weaknesses of mine. But I've found that in our family's trials over the past year and a half or so, that God has shown me how He can work through those weaknesses to change me and others. I've clung to this truth from His Word:
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV)
I really dove into this verse and found that the original Greek word for power here refers to God's specific power to do miracles. And as these "weaknesses" are revealed through this trial, they may also be the very thing that God uses to do a miracle in your life or in the lives of others! I'm praying with you, dear friend, and believing God is going to do miracles through this trial. Even in the valley, God is good. :)
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