I love being a mom. Even on the days when my children run me ragged or wear on my nerves, I appreciate the fact that God has blessed me with these two beautiful babies. Last night we learned that Jillian's long-time babysitter's father passed away. Poppy, as we call him, had a massive heart attack and died a little before 8 o'clock last night. He was very much a grandfather to Jillian. When she was with Carole (the babysitter), they had lunch with Granny Ruth and Poppy every week. He loved her so much.
So this morning, I had the responsibility of telling her that Poppy was gone. I can't really express the amount of dread that I felt. It has to be one of the most awful feelings in the world - knowing that you are about to break your child's heart. After I had fed Harrison and we had eaten our breakfast, I got her in my lap and told her the news. She wanted to know what had caused him to die and then she cried. And I cried. She did better than I thought, but I wonder what Sunday will be like when she sees him at the funeral home.
I can assure you that I am holding both of my kids a little closer today - with a renewed understanding that not all of parenting is wonderful and beautiful. And that sometimes you have to brace yourself to tell your kids the news you don't want to know yourself.
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