So Many Things to Say, Not Enough Words

  In the last month all kinds of things have gone down in our little world.   Some have been good.  Some have been bad.   And some have been just downright awful.   I cannot express everything that I have going through my head.  Somethings are just too muddled in my brain to share.
   We will start with the good.  My husband got older this week.  He has now officially caught up to me. That always makes me feel better.  His birthday was not necessarily the best birthday ever (we were at a funeral), but he took it all in stride.  Because he is Nathan, and that is what he does.  
   To begin, my son is exhausting.   I would like to sugarcoat that and make it sound better than it is.  He just absolutely wears me out.  He is beautiful.   He is rotten.  Lately it is as if everyday he comes up with a new way to push the limits.   I have never adored someone so much that also caused me this much frustration. He seemed to be getting better there for a little while, but the better ceased.  I can assure you of that.

   Sometimes in life you weep and pray for someone special in your life and then have to sit back and watch life unfold in a way no one ever wanted.  Feeling helpless is not an emotion I relish.  And yet I have felt that way as of late.  One situation is not my story to tell, so I won't tell it.  Just know that people I love are hurting and I can't fix it.  I don't even have words that will bring them comfort.  I just cry for them and pray for them. 

    Another situation that has prompted those emotions has unraveled in the last 8 days.  Last Saturday my Uncle Barry Neil had a stroke and fell from a tree stand.  He passed away on Sunday.  Completely unexpected and devastating.   I am heartbroken for my aunt and their children and grandchildren.  I just cannot wrap my brain around it.   We have been through the visitation and funeral.  We have taken his last walk and witnessed the scattering of his ashes in a place he dearly loved.  But it still seems very unreal.  Life is short, y'all.  I know we don't think about it (and don't want to), but he got up last Saturday morning to go hunting and never came home.  We have got to love our people and give grace to people, because we just never know when it won't be an option anymore.

   In light of this sad, opposite of uplifting post, know that my son has been in the bathtub singing "B-I-B-L-E!  Yes, that's the book for me," as I have been typing.  He is something else, I tell you.   Just not enough words to describe what "it" is.