Starting with my pregnancy, I have become ridiculously indecisive. Sadly, that has continued and I am driving myself a little crazy.
When I was pregnant and planning to nurse, I said I would quit nursing once I went back to school. Then I decided I might try to continue to nurse him first thing in the morning and the last one at night. I have gone back and forth with this a billion times in the last several weeks. The problem: I return to work 3 1/2 weeks from now (I am not discussing that yet in hopes that a miracle occurs and I won't have to), so a decision has got to be made. I have already dropped a couple of feedings throughout the day and within the next few days, I will drop the afternoon one. So all I will have left are those two that I have been debating all along. In so many ways, it will be easier to have him weaned completely by the 28th. In other ways, I HATE the thought. What to do, what to do. I know the "right" answer is to continue on for as long as possible. That will mean I will have to feed him at 6 in the morning and I will have to get up a 5 in order to be ready to do that. The babysitter will be here around 7:15, so I will have to give myself time to get him fed and then get dressed (I have learned not to have "go out" clothes on until after the feeding, burping, etc.) before she arrives. What to do, what to do.
As I said, I am making myself crazy which, in the end, only hinders my decision making ability - as if I have any left. I hate having to make the decision. I hate feeling like there is no right answer. I hate having to choose one of those non-right answers. I think I am hoping for an easy way out and one has not been provided. Just a few of the quadrillion thoughts I am having.
And now - what do I want for lunch?
1 comment:
Not that you are asking for advice, but is pumping an option? I wasn't able to nurse at all but he was still fed breastmilk until 6 months because I pumped. I had the same, "what to do, what to do" problem and I kept going back and forth... then he made the decision for me pretty much. My only decision was pump or formula.
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